The Little Things... or a combination thereof.

In the past month I have been subject to a whole host of new ideas, people and possibilities. I have accepted that there are things that are out of my control and that life is something to be enjoyed. You always tell yourself that in these sort of situations that you need to be positive, and 95% of the time I am. Its the down time, the time when your mind plays tricks against you, the 5 second day dream that results in a morning of compounded thought. It reminds me of inception, the planting of an idea in your psyche, and how that idea manifests until it consumes you. People can prepare for both the positive and negative, I find it easier and more beneficial to remain on the positive, and to somehow channel the negative.

Every good business person knows that a negative to one, should always be perceived as a positive by another. I am learning the art of turning negatives into positives, and it truly is a lesson hard learned. When you get diagnosed with a brain tumor, it is scary, and after that resultant fear has subsided, you begin to be able to live again. Its the small things in life that takes its toll. A brain tumor, or any tumor, is such a consuming subject that the mind only focuses on that and prepares for the immense battle that lies ahead. Your mind needs to prepare itself for the small battles, the battles that will be fought internally, with yourself, everyday. I experienced many of those little battles today, the scratching of the shunt (the pipe offering drainage of my spinal fluid from my 3rd ventricle down to my abdomen) in my tummy, the mental battle of trying to stay positive not only to yourself but to people around you, and then sympathizing when you hear that brain tumors are more common than you thought.

We all have these little fights, and none is more or less significant than the others. But along with the little fights, come lifes little pleasures. Yesterday I had the pleasure of meeting my niece, Isabella Grace Taylor, for the first time. Meeting her changed my perception of the limits I would go to for someone I have known for a matter of minutes. She managed to completely remove my thought from what is going on in the world, and the hardships that we all face. Meeting her allowed me respite from my problems and I became focused on making sure she was happy. I am determined to find more moments like that, the combination of those little things or moments, that ultimately result in a life of happiness. I know the things that make me happy, being with my family, friends and Ally. I truly do not care where I am in the world, so long as I am with the people that make me happy. 

Last year, 2011, was probably the most character defining year of my life. My parents got divorced, I started my career, and I moved to Durban, away from Alice. It was like a triple header, I felt I was being pulled in more ways than humanly possible. Divorce happens, no one ever asks for it, but ultimately all you want is for your parents to be happy, and they are getting there. My career at Barrows has endless opportunities, and the only one to define the boundaries to these possibilities is me. The hardest of the challenges was being away from Ally, and I am determined to never have to endure that again. She doesnt deserve the hardships she had to endure this past year.

On my 24th Birthday I sat with a close friend, Daniel Airey, and we reflected on 2011. I jokingly stated that it had been the hardest year ever and that things couldnt get any worse... how wrong I was, 2 weeks later and a few MRI's are testament to that. But there was another one of lifes little lessons, that you have to realise how lucky we all are, and that there is always someone out there fighting a harder battle.

Life can be a combination of all the little battles, or you can make it into a combination of things that make you happy, it all lies with your mindset and your ability to turn a negative into a positive. I know that this battle will make me a better person, a person with more respect for life's little pleasures.