The Distance Between Us

As the 23rd draws nearer and the inevitable approaches, it reminds me of a calm before the storm, or the deep breath before the plunge down a rollercoaster designed to test my limits emotionally, physically and psychologically. The clutches of reality slowly begin to tighten their grasp and there is only one way, and that is forward. It is a funny feeling having to accept the indefinite limits of time, and how best to use them. I have chosen to spend my last night in London with my family and new addition to the family, Bella.

As in anything in life, you only appreciate the good moments when something threatens your right to have these moments. I am now on constant alert to find these moments and hold on to them as long as I can, that is why I am writing this blog, so I can store these moments even when I am in my darkest hour. I have experienced dark moments, when the tumor begins to weigh down on my body and feel unrealistically big. I must not forget that it is 2cm's and an invader that has no right in my body. It will try to wage war on my emotions and at the moment it feels like shadow boxing, I am swinging at an enemy that lurks in the dark. Next week I will find and know my enemy.

We all lose sight of what is important in life, and I am fortunate at this young age to get clarity on this, albeit at a cost. I have never lose sight of the importance of friends, and their invaluable, unbiased, unyielding support. Happiness and sorrow have only 1 common ground, and that is peoples ability to to group behind people in moments of both. I have experienced such unbelievable support from all reaches of the globe, and that is testament to the infallible friends that I have made along my short yet well spent life.

Seeking treatment in a foreign country is a daunting prospect, fortunately there will not be a language barrier. Stanford is an incredible facility that offers the most advanced research in Neuro Oncology in the world. That is why I am there, to undergo treatment at a facility that fights and wins this battle thousands of time a year. Going there was a "No Brainer", and I remain resolute in my family and friends decision to seek treatment there.  There was only one reason that made me apprehensive about getting treatment overseas, and that was not being with the people I needed most when the chips are down and I am needing people to pick me up. Social media has shown its advantages, people have always been aware of my whereabouts and my movement patterns. I met up with friends in Cape Town, where they showed unwavering support and helped curb my mind from the task at head. True friends are the ones that never change, regardless of the amount of time in between seeing them. I sat with close friends for the most past of yesterday, and for the first time this week I relaxed and enjoyed the company, apart from being with the Taylors and Bella, thank you to those special people, you know who you are.

I realized that although we may be thousands of kilometers apart, and we all have our lives, loves and challenges, that we all need each other in order to calm the craziness in our lives. It is very easy to get daunted by the massive task that lies ahead of me, but seeing everyone and feeding off their positive energy has allowed me to focus my thoughts into seeing those people again. I have met so many people in the past month, and I am so open to the idea of meeting more people and hearing their stories. This is not me saying "goodbye" or salut, but rather "until we meet again" my friends. So "au voir" and remember time is the longest distance between two places, and not distance itself.